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Parent Teacher Relationships
Conflicts and Conferences

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 Like it or not, our little angels aren't always little angels.  Knowing that our children are all little geniuses, it should come as no surprise  that they are equally skilled at manipulating our responses to various situations.  From elementary age to our upcoming graduates; our children are smart enough to carefully gauge our responses to spoon fed bits of information.  Now that's not to say that our children's accounts of specific situations aren't completely accurate, but the phrase "Buyer Beware" has never had a more appropriate home than when discussing conflicts in the classroom with our children.  Words like objectivity and neutrality are truly words of wisdom.  Proceed with caution until you have all the facts you need to make a well informed assessment of any given situation. 

Now, with that being said, legitimate personality clashes can and do exist between parents and teachers.  Although typically our conflicts arise from how we perceive our children are being treated in class, these personality clashes  can sometimes automatically set a self destructive path when the two collide.  When those situations occur, it's important that parents remember one thing.   Without a doubt, your most valuable ally inside your child's classroom is his or her teacher, and building a relationship that solidifies mutual respect and trust is essential to your child's success. 

Your Parent Teacher Conference is an important tool for you and your child's teacher.   The dynamics of the rapport existing between your child and his or her teacher quite often can mean the difference between a positive or negative experience for your child.

     Your objective should be to learn the teacher's perspective on your child's performance in class, yet it is also your window into the classroom. 

Helpful Tips for Your Conference

Important Questions on Academic Concerns

	Is my child performing at grade level?
	Does my child have strengths and/or weaknesses in major subject areas?
	Does my child need special help in any academic subject? In social adjustment? If so, what help is available?
	Does my child regularly complete the class work and homework you assign?
	Has my child attended class regularly?
	Does my child participate in class?
	Does my child have an opportunity for independent, paired, small group and total group activities? If so, in which is he or she more comfortable or more successful?
	How are my child's work habits and attitude?
	How does the teacher keep parents informed about their child's progress or problems?
	Ask to see the results of any formal or informal testing that has taken place.
	Ask about specific ways in which you can help your child at home.

(excerpt) NSEA:  Parent Teacher Conferences (Pt 2): A Little Homework Makes A Big Difference

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Tips and Questions for Uncovering and Resolving Conflicts

	Know your child's academic history including past EOG test scores and the areas of strengths and weaknesses that past testing has indicated.
	Ask your teacher if he or she has reviewed your child's academic history including test scores and behavioral issues.
	Examine socialization issues and inquire how that may or may not affect your child's performance in class.
	Talk to your child.  Never discredit what he or she may tell you is happening in the classroom.
	Ask the teacher about isolated incidences that your child reports have happened in the class.  It always helps to have both perspectives.
	Be firm about your expectations of the teacher and your child's learning environment.  A teacher's job is to teach your child, and the school's responsibility to see that your child receives a quality education.  Allowing a child to fail or flounder is inexcusable.
	In situations where you feel uncomfortable about the potential outcome of your conference,  don't hesitate to involve your school's administrative personnel.
	Don't allow the entire burden of a poor academic performance to be put on your child.  Although children must be held accountable for their lack of participation or "shortcomings" in classroom requirements, they are only  "children".  It is our job as parents and their job as educators to help your child achieve.
	Document the details of your conference.